Difference Seasons, Shared Purposes

Season 3 | Episode 1: Different Seasons, Shared Purposes

Can friendships thrive across generations?

Season 3 of The F.A.B. Podcast begins with an inspiring conversation about friendship, purpose, and the unexpected ways meaningful relationships can shape our lives.

Host Hadiyah Adrianne is joined by special guest Elicia Alston to discuss what it looks like to build authentic friendships across different generations and seasons of life. Together, they share how age doesn’t have to be a barrier when values, faith, encouragement, and purpose create a meaningful connection.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

• How friendships across generations can inspire personal growth
• Why different life experiences can strengthen relationships
• The value of remaining open to connections that challenge and encourage you
• How purpose has the power to bring people together despite age differences

Whether you’re navigating new friendships or embracing relationships that look different from your own, this episode will encourage you to appreciate the people that God places in your life and recognize that every season has something to teach us.

Because purpose isn’t limited by age—and some of life’s greatest friendships are found in the most unexpected places.

If this episode encouraged you, be sure to follow The F.A.B. Podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who values authentic conversations.

Follow the journey:
 📱 Instagram: @the_fabpodcast
 📱 Host: @iambeyondfab

The F.A.B Podcast: Where fashion is just the beginning. The "Beyond" is Faith. Authencity. Boldness. 

Transcript

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SPEAKER_02 0:01

Hello everyone and welcome back to the Fab Podcast where we have authentic conversations that inspire growth, purpose, and transformation. I'm your host, Heide Adrian. Today's conversation is about friendship, growth, and beauty of connecting with people who are in different seasons of life. My guest today is someone I met at a live podcast show in November of last year. We later reconnected on a cruise and have continued building a friendship through conversations, FaceTimes, encouragement, and shared experiences. Although we're in different stages of our life, we've discovered that meaningful relationships aren't defined by age. They're built through authenticity, mutual respect, and a willingness to learn from one another. Let's jump into today's conversation. Welcome to the Fab Podcast, Olivia. What's up? Glad to have you here. Yes, indeed. So tell us a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

I am 27. I'm a school teacher. This is my fifth year teaching. I'm from Florida. I'm not allowed to the proudest. Um, I graduated from the one, the only Florida A M. The one, the only. There's no other one grader. Uh very proud, proud rattler that um Yeah, and I'm just living living aloka.

unknown 1:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Family was an HBCU, right? Yes, it is. Okay, period. Yes. We love a good HPCU. Don't be sending y'all kids to my to my schools, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

Family, where you going?

SPEAKER_02 1:37

All right, girl. We're gonna we're gonna move along. All right. So let's hop into these questions. How did our friendship begin and what made us stay connected despite our age difference and living in different states?

SPEAKER_00 1:53

Well, to start off, I was here in DC, minding my little business. There you go. Sitting, relaxing, chilling, put my coat on. And someone came up to me and was like, hey, is anybody sitting here? Um I was like, Well, no, I really don't know what's going on. So it really doesn't matter who's sitting here or not sitting here. I don't even know where I'm supposed to be at. And then from there, we casually got into a conversation. We shared very similar um journeys and paths from solo traveling, and that was like your your first time traveling solo was going to that same podcast, and my first time solo traveling was also going to that podcast, but not you did Atlanta, I did DC. Yes, but we shared experiences on that and flying and all of that. So that was very interesting how instantly there was a connection for me because it was like, oh, somebody else gets what I'm experiencing right now in this season. So that was fun, and then from there we kind of shared Instagrams and kept in touch like here and there. Um, and then went to the cruise, and that's really more where we connected more, had more conversation. Um, and what really, really, I think the day that we left, we were on the phone like that day that I had left from Miami from the cruise the day once we finally got done with the cruise. And then eventually I think we got closer once somebody got an iPhone. Um you shady. Why you gotta be so shady? So FaceTime definitely helped.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

I didn't even in that situation, I forgot that I got my iPhone after I was off the cruise.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Because it was regular just phone calls, and then when the FaceTime got on, it got turned up to a whole nother level.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

Not too much.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

So it was I can we study connection because of our phone. So shout out to Apple one time, just one. Wow. Um that's it. Not shout out to Apple one time. Do FaceTime, but also like just shared experiences and connections. Like we were a part of the same community, so that helped having conversation with each other, kind of having multiple different things to talk about. So we had one joint connection and we kind of shared the same similar experiences within that. Um, and that kind of branched off to sharing other things and being fine that we had more connections throughout other experiences in life.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

Okay. So what was your first impression of me?

SPEAKER_00 4:32

Your first, like when you came and sat next to me. I was one, I was like, oh, she's like an extrovert, like extra extrovert. Because I was sitting there and I and I had came to DC, was like, okay, I'm going to talk to people, I'm gonna engage with people, I'm gonna make a friend. Like that was my goal to come here to make a friend. And so the point that you just literally walked up to me and you were like, So what's your name? And then I was like, oh. And then I had this same notebook and I was taking notebooks about the fight. She was like, girl, what did she say?

SPEAKER_02 5:04

Yeah, because I said that to you, and I was like, oh, she really came to with the notepad. Like she was listening and taking notes. So I was like, uh oh, I thought I was doing my big one, just you know, staying fully engaged and you know, collecting a little content here and there, but girl, oh she had a she had a whole notebook and a little notebook. I said, Oh, well, let me put my notes out and and type some notes.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

So my first impression was like, she's open, like she's not scared to talk to nobody. She has the courage that people pray for today. I was open to talking to people, but I definitely wasn't talking to nobody. So it was just very interesting how it was just like, hey, and I was like, Well, hey, yeah, yeah. Okay, all right. Me too. Me, yep, yep. So that was my first impression of you, like, okay, she cool. I I can I can rock with this because it can get a little weird.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

Yeah, you know, but yeah, that's that's interesting. I don't know if I necessarily had a first impression of you. I think for me everything is usually vibrational and energy first. So I felt like I probably wouldn't have continued to engage with you if the vibes and the energy was like, don't talk to me.

SPEAKER_00 6:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

I'm on a solo vacation. You know, I don't want to talk to people, so yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

I came with an open energy, like I was open to it.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

I just wasn't gonna initiate anything. Yeah, you know, I've heard that I'm I'm usually the the one to initiate. Yeah, you're a fight starter.

SPEAKER_00 6:41

Whoa! Not a bad way, but just like you ignite things. How about that? That's better, right? You the you ignite the flame within shout to my school.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

I I perceive that. But yeah, I I am usually the initiator in most of my connections with people, and then I'm very persistent, so yes, second oppression.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

We're gonna move on. We gotta move on. First and second, y'all caught it. But you love it here.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

Here we go. Yes, uh I just you know, we don't want to lie to the people. We we come here, y'all. So, what are some of the biggest lessons you've learned from having a friend or friends who are in completely different seasons of their life than you?

SPEAKER_00 7:31

For me, is that everything, you don't have to have everything together. Like everything doesn't have to be figured out today, and I think that is a huge misconception with younger generation, the people in there in my stage in life that been looking at social media, looking at other people's platforms, and they want to have it all done. Like they want to be married by tomorrow, they want kids by yesterday, they want a home, they want this, they want that. And you know, people in other stages and like my older friends, they just they just help me to just look like girl, I don't have still don't have it all together, and it's okay, and I'm happy and I'm living life, or I do, I finally do have what I want, but it took me to this time to get it. Like it just didn't come instantly, so it it just kind of helps me understand that there's there it there can be instant gratification, but most of the time it's not, and that's okay to work hard and and go through life and experience things and be okay with how life turns out. Like, because I don't know anybody that's like 30s, 40s who are unhappy, they just they they happy, they're living their life like they're like very them, they know who they they are, they know what they want. They, oh, I didn't get it. All right, cool. I did get it, great. Like it's either way, it's like I'm I'm winning regardless. And I I take that mindset at 27 and like I'm winning. So whether I am here or there, whatever stage, I'm alive, and I have the opportunity the next day to do something better and do something greater. So I take that as a lesson from what I've gathered from.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

I love that, and I think it's it's beauty in that. Also, joy is a mindset. You know what I mean? So it's not based on necessarily what is or what isn't happening around you. It's a choice. It's like despite my circumstances, I'm either gonna choose to succumb to that or I'm gonna choose to be optimistic and just have a joy about the fact that it won't be like this forever. I think what I've learned from you is to kind of go with the flow a little bit more when it comes to my connections and my friendships. There's such a simplicity in the fact of like, yes, you're friends with someone, but it's like you don't gotta really do too much. You know what I mean? Just kind of vibe it out. And I think for me, I can be such a structured person and I always want to make sure that whoever I'm in connection with and whoever I'm building a friendship with, I just want to make sure that they're getting from it whatever it is that they're getting from it. But sometimes I think I let that kind of overpower just going with the flow. Just kind of trusting the flow and the process of what I'm building with them. Um, so I think that's what I've gotten from you that just like it's deep and it's serious, but it it can only be as deep and serious as you want it to be. And that I don't have to like feel like I have to hold on so tight, you know, to that friendship or to that connection. And not to say that it's not something that's important to me, but it's like it's so much freedom and joy, and just knowing that I am a good friend and this person that I'm in connection with is a good friend, and just focus on that and everything else outside of that. You'll figure it out as you go along. So I like it, I like it. What has surprised you most about our friendship?

SPEAKER_00 11:08

Surprise me most about our friendship, and don't do too much. Oh, that right there drop ones in the chat. Um surprise me most about our friendship. Well, I think for me, I was in a season when I met you that I was I wanted deeper friendships. I feel like I had very surface level friendships. Um I've had very long-standing friendships, but there were no depth to them. So I was craving and wanting something or more depth of like, okay, I can call this person and really like, yo, I'm upset, I'm mad, or I'm I'm happy, I can share for real. And it really somebody can really listen and really um really actually care. Because sometimes I feel like these young folks are dealing with it, they don't be careful. They'll be worried about amen, and that's about it. Um, no shade, no shade, no shade. Um, but something that surprised me that how how much depth and how quick our like our relationship was like short, like we haven't even known each other a year. And I feel like we've learned so much about each other. So that was very surprising to me because I was always in my mind, it's always the years, it's always the time. Like time builds stronger relationships. That's like in my head, that's what I always thought since I was like in high school. Like, oh, I didn't know I don't know you for real. I haven't even known you. So we're not friends. Like, uh, we can't be friends because I've only known you for like three months. Like, how so that really surprised me something I learned about myself. Um, and what our I think, yeah, that that was the most surprising that I could be in connection with somebody that fast. That was surprising for me in our friendship.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

I I've heard that a few times.

SPEAKER_00 12:52

Yeah, because I'm not I'm not the girl who's gonna be like, oh, you know that it's I'm not gonna be like, oh, we friends today. Like, you know, you know, other I know, you know.

SPEAKER_02 13:06

But I I think that's too something I've learned. Like, don't be so quick to categorize or give something a title if you don't really know. Um, and don't like force it. And not that I feel like I force things, but I think for me it's like once I start investing time and energy into something or someone, now I want to categorize it, I want to label it. And I think as I'm continuing to build this friendship with you, I'm realizing like that's not of importance to you. It's not, which is a little, it took me a little back. I had to kind of like sit in that, like, so you like it. This is what I wanna you want it to be. I'm going with the phone. I was like, so basically, we're in a situation ship.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

Yeah, mind you, we had this coming last week.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

I'm just this is just me being transparent. I'm not upset about it, but I think it's a good conversation to have.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

Let me clarify. I never said she was a situation ship.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

No, she never said that, but that's what I said.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

I'm just like she said, I'm a type of person, whatever somebody wants it to be, that's cool with me. Like, I'm never the person to be like, oh, it has to be this. I don't put really strong, like it is if you want to be friends today with your friends and if you don't want to be friends tomorrow, it's like, okay, cool. Like, I'm really the go-with the flow type of girl. Like it doesn't, I'm not saying it doesn't bother me, but I don't want anybody to feel like they're tied up or being forced to be my friend. It's like if that's not the title you want to have, I'm okay. We can just be associates, coworkers, we can be friends. You want to be friends, you want to be. I really don't mind whatever the title is because that's not gonna change my connection with the person.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

And that's the part that made the most sense to me. I think initially when you said that, I was like, so girl, what like what is this?

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Like what you what so whether you want to be besties, friends, sisters, homegirls, co-workers like it doesn't matter what you want to call it, I'm not gonna change my interaction with you because it's still gonna be whatever is gonna like how I want to interact with you, but whatever title you want to put on it, let me put this out there. This is for friendships. That's it. Other things have to have titles. Friendships, one thing, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

Okay, we love a good clarification over here. But yeah, I think um just having that conversation, and I'm glad I asked because I think a lot of times we just assume that everybody kind of has that same mindset when it comes to building connections and friendships with people, um, regardless of age or where you are currently in your life. But I think that was a good lesson for me because it's like maybe I should be asking those kind of questions as I'm building connections and friendships with people instead of just assuming like we're on the same page when it comes to that. But I think more so I just like to have clarification but also control. And I think I'm realizing like that doesn't work for everyone. Like some people, and not necessarily to say that there is not a clarification of what is happening here between us, but I think for me it's like I want to get there sooner versus later. Um but I think over time and with experiences of having friendships for a long time and then they ending, I'm realizing that maybe I need to start taking my time before I'm trying to establish what something is. So I think, yeah, if I had to say something that I've learned from you would be that. So has our friendship challenged or changed your perspective on relationships, career, marriage, purpose, and or personal growth or all of the above?

SPEAKER_00 17:07

Okay, for the career part, um, something that definitely has challenged, like it's okay to pivot. Like it's okay to, you know, pivot with a purpose. Like that career. Say it again, you know, pivot with a purpose. You gotta make sure you pivot with a purpose. You just can't be switching up, going just doing stuff like Lynn off girlfriends. Make sure you have, you know.

SPEAKER_02 17:31

She was a free-spirited dog. No, she was, but she just she didn't she never had a plan. She never pivot with a purpose.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

Um, you don't really also have to have a plan, but knowing that that even if you start in something, you can go and later in life change it. You don't have to stay in something if you don't want to be in it. I think that's something that I've definitely learned a lot from you and like your story, um, and where you are in life and where you've come from in life there. Like, you don't have to be stuck in a box, you don't have to be stuck in a career, you don't have to be stuck at a job, you don't have to be stuck in a anything. Whatever you want to do, you can do it. Um and but just make sure it's aligned with your purpose because if you pivot and it's not purposeful and it's not within your purpose, it can also go another way that you might not like. So just discovering what your purpose is and knowing that you can grow and change in that for career-wise, and that's also with personal too. It kind of goes hand in hand, like career, personal growth. Um, for me, for more aspect of the personal growth, like, do you know who you are? Like that's something I do ask myself a lot from my interactions with you, because I learn more, like, oh, well, maybe I didn't mean to say it like that, or maybe, or maybe that's not what I meant. So let me clarify a little bit more, but it it makes me really sit and ask myself questions and have to answer myself, like, okay, you said this, but this is this really how you feel about this, or just changing my view of like, okay, maybe life doesn't have to be perceived this way, or you don't have to interact with people in this way. So it really has changed my perception of like friendships and how I interact with them and how I talk to people, um, because the mouse can be um a little, I would I would say look a little harsh um sometimes or straightforward.

SPEAKER_02 19:29

I was yeah, when you said harsh, I was like, maybe not harsh, but I think you're very direct.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

Yeah, I'm very direct and very straightforward. Yeah, um, so I'm trying to learn to kind of pull back a little bit with that, but also in the same, I'm kind of like pulling back and being knowing when when to be straightforward, but also still being standing my ground. Like what I say is what I say, and I'm standing on it. Like I said, I don't like it. It ain't I don't care how the conversation you have about it, it's not gonna change. So I think personal growth is like keep growing, keep learning yourself, keep asking yourself questions.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

I think that's the other one was your perspective on relationships, marriage.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

Uh, I feel like this is something I did know because my parents are married, but like marriage is not some type of unrealistic expectation. I think like people have the mindset to think that marriage is supposed to be perfect, it's supposed to be like or it's the same for everybody, yeah. And that's something that is something that I did learn from that people do not let other people's expectations like control what your marriage looks like. Absolutely. So you have other people's upbringing and what their marriage looks like, and they expect, oh, they're not doing this or they should be doing this, and that but what works for for you works for you, and it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks about it or what's going on in their household because that's not their my household, not your household, my man not your man. Uh marriage is not your marriage. So what works for you works for you works for your man works for me. So it's like what you feel like you can't do, and I have the privilege to do it, should not be something I'm punished for or frowned upon or like judged for any way just because I can or I cannot, whatever it is, absolutely in my situation.

SPEAKER_02 21:11

So okay, I like that. I like that. So has it encouraged you to think differently about the type of woman you're becoming?

SPEAKER_00 21:21

Um, yeah, for me, I I'm thinking about like different career paths, different things of knowing that I don't have to be just just be one thing, like I can be do multiple things at a time. I think I was just stuck like, oh, and you can have multiple purposes, and I think that's something that I've learned that because I always tell my purpose is teaching, but then broadening that, like, yes, my purpose is to be a teacher, but I'm teaching different ways. Yes, not just in a classroom to little children, like my interaction with people, educating them on a in different platforms in a way. So that is something I definitely has helped me really. That you know, you you have a purpose, and your purpose doesn't have to be boxed in, and you don't have to have this one purpose, you can do a multitude of things and still be great at everything.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

I love that.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

Well, it's a constant thing that I'm learning, but I think it's the reminder to rest, and that rest is a necessity and not a reward for me pushing through and doing a million things in a day. I think that's a constant struggle for me, but I do appreciate the reminders. Why are you laughing? Because you say on me about uh did you rest today? You be doing 99,000 things. Did you rest today? It's just making me more conscious and intentional about my rest because I am a wife, I am a mom of three. Um, all of my children are in very different stages of their lives. I have a high schooler, I'm about to have a middle schooler, and I have a child in elementary school. Um, and then also I am an entrepreneur, so I have multiple businesses that I'm working on. Um so I'm constantly managing a lot of things day-to-day. So the the reminder to rest is very necessary for me. Because and I think people think when you say rest, it means like just to lay down, but it's like I could lay down and still be multitasking on my phone, which defeats the purpose of me actually resting. So Alicia is constantly reminding me, like, did you rest today? And I don't mean laying down in the bed and and and multitasking on your phone. Like, did you actually rest? Oh, yeah, I think.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

You know, this is the straightforwardness that I was just talking about.

SPEAKER_02 23:57

Yeah, because she'll definitely come through a FaceTime, like you told me you was resting today.

SPEAKER_00 24:01

Oh, like the other night? The FaceTime really got her, like it really she made worse mistake.

SPEAKER_02 24:08

Because that FaceTime tells all Yeah, she she be in my business. But back to my other business of resting. Uh yeah, she will definitely slide through my phone on a FaceTime or a text. Like, so you told me today was gonna be your day of rest. Did you actually rest? Like, what are you doing? Like, what's happening? Is is resting going on over there? Like, what is this rest consisting of? And then I'd be like, now I really have to check in and be like, well, am I actually resting? I'm laying down, but I'm still scheduling things. You're on the computer. All right, we're gonna move on. But anyway, you know, thank you for the reminder to rest, and the reminder of yes, you have a lot of things going on, but that also means that you should rest. So appreciate you for that. What do you think women in their 20s and women in their 40s can learn from one another that is often overlooked?

SPEAKER_00 25:12

Ooh, well, I think the start-off moment in her 20s, um, headed to her 30s. Yeah. Um, okay, yeah. I can't wait to be 30. Um rush it. Here we go. What about to bring up 20? The women in their 20s, we we gotta rush. We we we don't know how to face nothing. We rushing everything. It's like a race around here, like who can get it, who can get to it faster. Um, and I think something that like women in their 20s can like slow down, baby. Yeah, pump the brakes. Slow down, you're doing a lot, you got a lot going on. Just relax, like pump the brakes, you real eager, take the time, learn yourself, travel, do the things, they're like slow down because it will come if it's meant to come.

SPEAKER_02 25:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 26:00

So that is definitely something that like 20s can learn from 40s. Now, when it comes to 40s, learn people from 20s, they um I feel like people in their 40s, they're more established, so they probably have like families, husband, different things going on in life, business, careers, very like it's a lot of things on their schedule. I think they don't they learn from 20s that I can still put me first in a sense, like I can still take time. I gotta put me. I think a lot of them, you know, they get lost in I gotta do this, I gotta do that, I gotta do this, I gotta pick up this time, I gotta go pick this, I gotta do this, and then I gotta come, I gotta cook. Whereas it's like, dang, where's me? You know, and I think being around 40 and 20s, being around each other is like dang the 20-year-old living her life. She she she's still prioritizing like her sanity, her time, her space, and putting herself first. And I think they see them like, you know what? I'm gonna take me a trip, you know, and I'm I'm not gonna take them kids or that man. I'm just gonna go, I'm gonna go take me to brunch. And when I was in that club, you know, you enjoy, you know, you get to learn, you know, from each other. It's like slow down, but also are you are you focused on you a little bit too? Because you you so it's like both sides are you know learning from each other just from experience, just from watching and growing. And I think also twenties learn how to deal and schedule things a little bit and not get so overwhelmed with life because in the 20s, everything is overwhelming. Like you know, it has to be everything is over. It's like everything smallest inconvenience is so upsetting. Well, I think people in their 40s are like, okay, this happened, okay. I gotta I gotta pick, I gotta do something different. Where we like, well, I guess it ain't gonna be done. Well, I guess we're gonna be next.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

So, yeah, I think I think what you said is very accurate. I think I was already in the space of prioritizing myself and and still trying to find a balance, being a mom, present mom, a present wife, and then managing businesses and things like that. I think for me, having a friend that's in her 20s, one, it reminds me of like who I was in my in my 20s and the things that I wanted at that time versus now about to be in my 40s and what I have. It's almost like a reflective thing for me. Um a lot of times when I talk to you, it's like you're in a rush, but you're not in a rush.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

It's like you cool, but then you ain't cool.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

It's like a it's a constant like up and down.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

Yeah, I'm an oxymoron.

SPEAKER_02 28:40

So when I think about like my 20s, I was like, what like what was my life like? And so I'm like, in my 20s, I wanted to be married by 25. Like that came and went. But also I think by the time I got to 25, I was like, yeah, I probably shouldn't have wanted to be married by 25. Because I I think I was still like a child, you know. I mean, yes, I had a a child of my own, but like just your your mind frame and your perspective about life is just so like very self-oriented, like you're just consumed with yourself, and then nothing outside of that really matters. Um, but I did feel like I was on like a timeline. It's like I need to be married, I need to have this, I need to have that. And now being in my 40s, well, I'm not there yet, but I'd be there in a couple of months. Um, I just have a new, I have more of an appreciation for my life and how it how from my 20s to about to be 40, like all that I've experienced and all the things I thought I knew and thought I wanted then versus what my life is now. I just feel like I I don't I don't even think I cracked the surface of what my expectations were. I think I've God has exceeded that for me.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

So I think you know, having those conversations with you is like you don't have to have it all figured out now. Um, just enjoy your life.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

And that's why I come with up and down, because I'd be like, oh, life is good, but it's like you don't you don't think you want to get something to start working towards.

SPEAKER_02 30:21

And I get it, and and it's good that you're thinking that, but I feel like that's kind of like the 30 effect. Because when I think about when I was turning 30, I was like, okay, like I'm a wife, I'm a mom. Okay, what do I want to do career-wise? You know what I mean? That was my mind frame. It's like I've secured the things that I think I wanted the most, you know what I mean? I manifested those things first, but then it was like, okay, so what what about you outside of those things? What do you want? And so I feel like for you, you're just probably like in that reflective stage of like, okay, I'm I'm 27, but 30 is like around the corner. What is what what's this next chapter gonna be like for me? Um, and I think that's usually how it happens, but you just gotta ride the waves.

SPEAKER_00 31:11

I'm chilling.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

For now.

SPEAKER_00 31:13

For today.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

For yeah, for today. Tomorrow I'll be like for this moment. Oh my god. Yeah, tomorrow she'll be like, oh my god, I'm so behind.

SPEAKER_00 31:20

Oh my god, I'm so I should have known last week. I should have been planning this.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

I should have the good thing about our connection is that we both are being able to learn something from each other. You know, the young versus the the new 20. They said 40 is the new 20. I think 40 is the new tire. How much I work out, how much I sleep and rest, I'm gonna be tired.

SPEAKER_00 31:49

That's why I don't know how y'all do it. I'm tired now in my 20s. I'm tired with no kids. I'm over it. So I don't know how I don't know how all this is gonna work out. I'm tired. I'm tired now.

SPEAKER_02 32:00

Right. Okay, but uh yeah, I feel like 30 years old are tired too.

SPEAKER_00 32:04

I know y'all tired.

SPEAKER_02 32:06

Okay, we're gonna move on.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

I'm sick and tired, so I don't know y'all tired. Right. Overly.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:13

You know? Yeah. Yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

Okay, you don't. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 32:20

Yeah. So what does meaningful friendships look like to you? And why do you think genuine connections can transcend age, geography, and life stages?

SPEAKER_00 32:35

Genuine friendships look like to me. I think I struggle, I struggle with that a little bit because um, like I said earlier, I'm still trying to figure out what I want friendships to look like sometimes. Like it's it's hard to I think that's something I still struggle with. Is like, do I want my friendship sometime to be deep or not, or service level, or it's a lot. But for the basis that I've like self-discovering, interacting with people, trust is a big thing for me. Like I have to be able to trust the person um wholeheartedly because I feel like people can trust me. And I I think that's one of my strong suits that I'm very trustworthy. And if I can't have that same trust from somebody, I don't I don't know what I'm gonna do with you. So it's like I don't really know about that. I think honesty for me, I'm I feel like I'm a very honest person. If I feel away, or like I don't I'm gonna say it. I don't want people holding nothing back. Say what how you feel, if you mad, you upset, or you you didn't say it. Because I if you don't say it, I'm not gonna care. If you don't say it, it's the truth. If you hold it in, you don't want it to be dealt with. So you want to hold it in, so keep holding in. Don't bring it up to me a year later. You should have dealt with that in therapy. I mean, that's how I feel. Uh, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 33:49

We definitely support people in therapy.

SPEAKER_00 33:51

Is you know, go to therapy and deal with it if you don't want to bring it to me. Um, honesty, trust. Um, what is something else that I like? Like my stuff is like very basic. Um intention. Like people's intention. That's really important to me. Like what you say and how you intend to for it to be like that is important. Like you're how intentional you are being with me, that is also very important. Like, that's my my basic three. Like, I can deal with and I can consider you a genuine person if I can trust you, if you're honest, and if you're you have pure and real good intentions for me. Like, I don't really all the other stuff can be worked out and it's like fluffy stuff for me.

SPEAKER_02 34:40

Like, do you think that you can get all of those qualities in one friend? Or if you can get all those qualities in one friend, or do you prefer to have all those qualities in one friend? And then are you okay with having those qualities spaced out emotional friends?

SPEAKER_00 35:02

No, my each friend has to uh possess those qualities, and all the other stuff is other stuff, but each friend of mine, I have to be able to trust them. They have to be have to have pure intentions, and they have to be an honest person. I deal with people who are not so honest. Um I deal with people who well really don't deal with people who don't have good intentions, I don't play them type of games. Um, and I deal with people that I can somewhat trust. It's different levels of it, but I can still that those qualities are still within them. So I cannot deal with anybody that doesn't possess some form of those qualities, whether it's like extreme trust or like okay, I know I can trust you with no. If I I can call you, you won't say nothing, but trust you with my life, nah. I'm not going nowhere with you, but I can call you and tell you, you know, hey, girl, but some form of trust, some form of honesty, some form of pre-tention. I think what you said the other one, it can't be spread out.

SPEAKER_02 36:01

No, you want that everyone to possess it.

SPEAKER_00 36:04

Everybody's possessed so free. I don't think that's that's asking a lot. Like, I think I give that, so I do expect that back, those three things. Like, I don't yeah, I don't play when it comes to my trust with people.

SPEAKER_02 36:20

Yeah, I don't how do you how do you nurture meaningful uh friendships? And what does that look like for you?

SPEAKER_00 36:29

How do I nurture meaningful friendships? Um for me, I like spending quality of time with people, and I do like to re I do reach out to people, you know. This summer's been kind of rough because it's been a me summer, like everybody else has been on the outs, outside of the gate. It's really been a I'm focused on me this summer. But I do try to reach out and really engage with people and ask people how they're doing, how their mindset is, you know, here and there. Because a lot of my friendships are not everyday conversational friendships. Like we are like some of us are like once a month, every six months, once a year. Oh, I seen you oh, we only go to concerts together, but that's my girl. Like it's very like, oh, once a week, or girl ain't heard like it's it's all over the place. Different, my different friendships. They're not all consistently every single day conversations. So just being intentional of just checking in with people because they're not everyday, like engaging every day. So nurturing, I feel like I point to my friends because I am a person who listens. Um, of the ways I nurture, I'm there for my friends for real. Like, I don't think there's anybody that's connected to me and say I'm not there for them or supportive of them or won't clap for them or won't show up or whatever the capacity is. They know that I'm gonna be there, I'm gonna show up, I'm gonna be the loudest in the room. That's something that people do know. So I spend time nurturing, just talking, engaging, because a lot of them are long distance. I don't really have like friends that live in my same city as me.

SPEAKER_02 37:58

So okay, well, yeah, I would have to agree with that. I think what I've learned with you is that you are really upfront with like your boundaries and you're realistic with your expectations based off of like who you are. Because you're just like, Yeah, I'm not gonna want to talk to you every day.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

Why are you laughing? No, but I guess probably exactly how I said it too.

SPEAKER_02 38:25

You didn't you didn't say it in a way that was offensive to me, but you were very clear like I'm your friend, but I'm not gonna want to talk to you every day. Um you probably gonna text me and I'm probably not gonna respond right away. I probably respond three to five business days.

SPEAKER_00 38:38

I always talk to my own mama every day.

SPEAKER_02 38:40

Um but I I love that. I love the honesty and the transparency. It's like we're gonna be friends, but I'm just gonna lay down the rules of law how that's gonna work out on my end. Now, what you do with that information? Well, that's what you do with that information. It's your business, but I love that we can have those conversations about like what our expectations are or what our capacities are, considering that we live in completely different states. We're pretty far in age. Um, and we're also at different seasons, life stages. Um, so I think just having those type of conversations kind of just lays down the foundation of a better understanding of what to expect and what not to expect. Um, which for me is like a light bulb because I don't think sometimes when I invite people in my space, and I'll probably like prompt people, like I have a lot going on, but I don't think people really understand what that means when I say like I have a lot going on. And I don't even think for for a while I really knew what that meant until I think my sister was like, You're busy. She was like, You don't have the amount of time that you think that you have. Not too much. And she was like, and even when you're not busy, you're probably trying to rest. And so you still don't have the complexity. And she was just like, you know, I want to do certain things with you. Um, but she was like, You literally have to schedule me in. And when she first said that, I was like, girl, I got time. And then I looked up two weeks later, she was like, We never did our FaceTime and tea and makeup, and you're just so busy. And I think it took me a while to accept the fact that I'm actually much more busier at this time in my life than I would like to admit, and that I definitely need to schedule time with people and be intentional about that.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

We both have busy lives. I think your schedule is booked because you actually have things on your schedules, like delivery, and then when you look at my schedule, it's like me, me, me, me, me, reading time, me, lunch time, me not doing nothing time, me coloring. Like it's me on the whole list, especially when I'm working. When I get off work, it's literally me. I don't want to talk to nobody. I've been spent the whole eight hours in the day talking to people over it, done talking. You and you go and you make time, you squeeze people in to your very book life. Where me is like, oh, I guess I've done enough meat for the day. Let me go and reach out to it.

SPEAKER_02 41:34

All the joys. So yes. Um, but I love how intentional intentional you are about pouring into yourself. I think I do that as well, but I have to do that at the top of my day because there is so much other things that require my time and energy. So I have to be intentional about getting my my time in for myself earlier versus later in the day. So yeah, I think this has been an amazing conversation about the different complexities of building meaningful friendships with people who are at different ages, stages, seasons of their lives. And also having long distance uh friendships. I think most of my friends are pretty close to me. Like we live in close proximity, we live in the same state. So I think this may be the first of many.

SPEAKER_00 42:38

Yeah, mine's obviously all my friends, though.

SPEAKER_02 42:41

Having a friend that's long distance in a while for me. So yeah, I think that's cool. So we're gonna hop in to rapid fire round. It's it's called rapid fire round.

SPEAKER_00 43:01

You know how my brain works so for a reason because if I say what comes to my head, you only got two options, you might not be able to use it. It oh, so it's a this or that, yeah. Okay, okay, but rapid fire.

SPEAKER_02 43:15

It's not gonna require you to think too much. All right, you ready?

SPEAKER_00 43:20

Let's go walk in.

SPEAKER_02 43:21

Coffee or tea? Oh, rapid fire.

SPEAKER_00 43:27

Because recently it's been coffee, but I but I love tea. Hot cold. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 43:32

You know what, we're gonna move on. Phone call or text message.

SPEAKER_00 43:39

Call three hours max.

SPEAKER_02 43:44

One word that describes friendship. Rapid fire.

SPEAKER_00 43:49

One word to describe friendship, just the word friendship a lot.

SPEAKER_02 43:55

All right. One thing people get wrong about your generation that we just we don't know nothing.

SPEAKER_00 44:02

We're just not mature. We just doing, I think a lot of people really think our generation is crazy. Slightly, but I think we've sometimes the good crazy. I think I mean there's levels. There's levels, but I think we're gonna move on. This is right and fire. My generation, not you know, the other ones you have to learn.

SPEAKER_02 44:19

One thing you've learned from someone older than you.

SPEAKER_00 44:24

It's okay to say no.

SPEAKER_02 44:26

Period. One thing you've learned from someone younger than you.

SPEAKER_00 44:32

You can be you.

SPEAKER_02 44:34

Period.

SPEAKER_00 44:35

Per.

SPEAKER_02 44:36

When it comes to marriage, partnership or friendship first?

SPEAKER_00 44:40

Friendship.

SPEAKER_02 44:41

Okay. A quality every friend should have. I think you said something about that in the trust. Trust a life lesson you are currently learning.

SPEAKER_00 44:55

Everybody's not meant to come with you. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 45:00

That wasn't rapid enough, but it'll do.

SPEAKER_00 45:03

Um Grandma is tired.

SPEAKER_02 45:07

What does being fab mean to you right now?

SPEAKER_00 45:10

Right now, I'm being fab, means just doing what I want to do. When I want to do it. Yeah. I'm doing what I want to do. Fab energy. When I want to do it, where I want to do it, how I want to do it, whenever I want to do it. And I don't care what nobody's opinion of it is. That's what fab is for me. Your opinion doesn't even matter.

SPEAKER_02 45:28

Wow. All right, sweets. One of the biggest takeaways from today's conversation is that meaningful friendships aren't limited by age, location, or life stage. Some of the most impactful relationships in our lives are the ones we never expected. So thank you for joining us on the Fed Podcast. And to everyone listening, if you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to subscribe, share it with a friend, and follow the Fed Podcast for more conversations that inspire growth and purpose. Until next time, stay fast.