Grace In Alignment

What happens when you stop forcing what no longer fits and begin aligning with the life God is calling you to?

In this heartfelt conversation, I sit down with journalist and storyteller Alanah to discuss faith, purpose, authenticity, and the grace that comes with alignment. Together, we explore personal growth, navigating transition, trusting divine timing, and embracing the evolving versions of ourselves.

Alanah shares her journey through storytelling, self-discovery, and learning how to move with intention instead of pressure. This episode is a reminder that alignment may not always come with immediate clarity, but it often comes with peace.

If you’ve been feeling stretched, uncertain, or called into a new season of life, this conversation will encourage you to trust the process and give yourself grace along the way.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Fab Podcast, where we have intentional conversations about faith, audacity, and becoming. I'm your host, Heide Adrian. This is season two, and this season is all about audacity. The audacity to evolve, the audacity to choose yourself, the audacity to begin again even when life didn't unfold the way you planned. Today's episode is titled Grace in Alignment, because sometimes it takes audacity to realign your life. It takes audacity to walk away, to rediscover who you are, to rebuild your identity after divorce, to use your voice again with confidence and clarity. Today I'm joined by Alana, an award-winning storyteller and artist who nurtures and advocates for communities in Baltimore. Through journalism and creative expression, she has amplified the voices of others while navigating her own journey of identity, transition, and growth. Welcome to the Fab Podcast, Alana. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here and what a fitting topic. You know, I love Audacity. Yes. I love I love that. And as a lover of words, I've looked up the meaning of Audacity. Okay, come on now. A willingness to take bold risks. Carry it. Okay. Um, but it's also rude or disrespectful behavior. Hmm. So we'll just sit with that, listeners, right? I mean, maybe it's like finding a balance of when to be rude. Yeah. But when to still, you know, be bold. Exactly. Yeah. But audacity is the theme of season two. I love that. It's a great theme. Yeah. When I thought about it, I was just like, you know, it's about having the audacity to believe that the desires of your heart can become a reality. Very true. You really do have to um, you know, but I think about, and there's a quote, and I'm gonna look it up while we're uh talking, but like there's a quote about well-behaved women and how they seldom succeed or something like that. I have to like look it up to quote it verbatim, but I'm gonna revisit that. But like I think about like with the definition of audacity and it being like not as well behaved or maybe being seen as rude. Um, because sometimes like when you are making those moves, people don't understand. Um, when you're sort of beginning to choose yourself, especially when it's something that you hadn't done before. Come on now. So yeah, I'm I'm seeing it. I I like the I like the vision for the season. Okay, come on, yeah, absolutely. So um the first question is who were you before divorce and who did you have to become after? Yeah. So, you know, I I guess I'll set the scene for folks, you know. I, you know, Alana Nicole Davis. Okay, come on. A 34-year-old mother of two. Yeah, shout out to Blair and Harper. They are 14. I'm saying 14 because by the time this airs, yeah. My oldest woman already had a birthday. Well, they will both have birthdays by then, 14 and and 12, which is okay. So happy early birthday to Harper and Blair. Happy birthday to them. Yes. Um, and what they come from such a beautiful season of my life, which you've already sort of alluded to when I was married. So I got married in my early 20s, and you know, I was 20 exactly when I got married. I was 19 when I met my ex-husband. Wow. And, you know, it was like a young love, you know what I mean? He was probably one of my first former, like formal boyfriends, um, former and formal. Um period. Come on now. Um, and um, you know, I was I've always been a a lover. I've always been someone who's very into I love I love men. I'm so sorry. I wish I didn't. Don't be sorry. I feel but I feel like I need to apologize because they treat us so poorly sometimes. So it's like if I had a choice, two things can be true at one time. Two things can be true. I love I love the men's. Um, I love humans, I love love. And so um I was very enthusiastic, you know, in my 20s to like be in a marriage and to want to be married. I like so many women absorb media and family stories of what it was going to be like. And I think many of us at this point in our as women of a certain age, okay, come on, attest to its differences, very differences between the fairy toil, the fairy tales. Because that's exactly what it was, a fairy tale. Okay, that's what they were feeding us. Fables. Buncha lies, which is so fitting because we're we're in a library. Um and they was telling stories as they would some of my great aunts would have about what marriage was supposed to be and the differences. And um, and so in my becoming, which I know some of you know is also a theme for yeah, you know, for this put, I think um I always knew I wanted to be a wife. I've I'm built that way, I'm wired that way. I'm a I'm a caregiver, I'm compassionate, I'm very nurturing. Um, so when I meet a partner, I want to be everything to that person. I want to, I want to serve, I want to give, I want to love, and that's just what I like to fold into. So it is very hard in this dating landscape, I will say now, which we can revisit, but divorce came to me early. It came to me as early as as marriage did because it didn't last that long. I was maybe married for like five years, which is significant. That's still a success. It's a success, but like it it was quick, it felt quick anyway. But you learn somehow because I feel like a lot of times it's like we were like, oh, it's it wasn't a success because it ended. No, it still was a success. That's true, but it was something for you to learn in the midst of that, and that's why it had to end. Yes. And I think like in the in accepting the failure of my marriage, which is a thing, like in accepting the failure of my marriage, I began to accept the success of the identity I'm in now. The person I am now could not exist without that failure, without, and and I think like we're so scared of like that word, that what it means to like for something to not be okay. Because things are sometimes not okay. Like sometimes things messed up, things get messed up. Yeah, you know, you can have every intention. It's like when you when you get into an argument with somebody and they say, and these things happen in marriages, and they say, I didn't mean to hurt you. You okay, you could have every intention to if not to, but you did. Yeah, and it still doesn't take away from the fact that it hurts. Right. And so what do we do at that intersection? The intersection of things like infidelity. What do we do at the intersection of things like I'm becoming another person than I was when I met you? We were 19 when I met, you know, my my ex-husband. And so it was like, I wasn't who I was got gonna be, not even by a small percentage. No, and then y'all had kids, and then we had kids, like that's a whole nother that listen, having a baby changes your whole brain chemistry. Hello? It does like scientifically, social media. Mentally, physically all the things, all the things across the board. And that's and then you're also faced with just the social sort of expectation of who am I gonna be? Like what kind of jobs am I gonna work? Um, what kind of friends am I gonna have? Are the friends that I had when I got pregnant the friends I've had now that my my children are teenagers? Some yes, and a lot, no. Yeah, so you know, a lot of things have changed. Um, and I don't want to get too far away from your questions, but I mean I could pontificate about divorce and becoming and being a mother for hours and days, because there's so many lessons to be had. But I think one of the core ones I would I would definitely want to share with your audience is just the risk taking. Um, as big as a risk as it is to say I'm gonna fall in love with somebody, there's an even bigger risk than saying I'm gonna fall out and I'm gonna be on my own because it was not easy, not even by a long shot, to say I was going to end that chapter, that book is a whole series of my life, and to say, I'm gonna be financially independent, I'm gonna be socially independent of this person, of this relationship. Um, and I was completely, I mean, we were on our own. We we had the the sort of framework of living in a in a town home and living in Baltimore County, which for many women, I think all over the world, you you name it any town USA, pick a pick that suburb for you, right? You know, so if you're listening anywhere else, you can sort of fill in the blank, but like you get to that moment of having the picket fence and the 2.5 kids and the and the pet and whatever we didn't have a pet because I don't really do that. But but when you get all of those things, and then you say, I'm just gonna sort of put that away because I see something else for myself, and I knew that I wanted more, and my partner at the time didn't necessarily want more for himself, um, and again fill in the blank for himself, themselves, whatever. And I just knew that I needed to move on, period. So, and maybe it's more like a an alignment thing because I think you can be in alignment with somebody, but you can gradually like fall out of alignment, yes, like you wanted more, yeah, and maybe he just wasn't ready to give you more, but like I feel like that's the lesson. It's like I do love this person, yeah, but I love me more, and I realize like I deserve to have more, however, I'm gonna get that. Yes, and you kind of have to like keep that, and I think maybe that's why I'm still single to this day. I mean, not for lack of trying, but like I think I have to love me more, I have to like want better for me, and in every moment have to choose me. Absolutely or else, like what? Like, I think we've all kind of been there as women where we choose a person or a moment or a thing, and it messes with us financially, it messes with us spiritually, emotionally, and we're beginning to lose pieces of ourselves or cash in pieces of ourselves to in in exchange for partnership. And there are just points where I'm just like not willing to come up off of what I want. You shouldn't have to. And I mean, I think for me it's I've been married for almost it'll be nine years this year. Okay. Yes. Okay. Um, but even with being married, it is a series of alignment and you know, changing and becoming. I feel like who I was when I got married, I'm married in my 30s. Um, yeah, I got married when I was 30. Mind you, I wanted to be married when I was 25. But I was like, yeah, I'm glad I waited. Listen, wait. But um, yeah, and now I'm I'll be 40 this year. So I've been married for almost 10 years, which is crazy to sell out. But I feel like it was a lot of me becoming and unbecoming, yeah, and learning and relearning. Um, and I'm just grateful to just have a partner that, you know, through that transition, you know, he stuck it out. Because it's not sometimes people think because you're married to someone, you are one. We are one, but we're still individual.

SPEAKER_01 11:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

And sometimes as you evolve, your partner is not evolving at the same time. No. So I've been on my journey of evolving. And my husband kind of had to like catch up and meet me there. And that is not an easy process because who he knew me to be, I'm not her. I'm becoming someone else. Right. So my perspective about things are changing, how I show up for myself is changing.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

Right.

SPEAKER_00 12:05

What I'm prioritizing is changing. Now that doesn't negate the fact that I still have my husband, my household, and my three children. But it's like it's a shift in like, what do I need for me?

SPEAKER_01 12:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

But then also, how can I still show up in these roles that I've signed up for? Yeah. You know, so it's scary. So I don't want people to think like you can't find someone. It's just like you really have to be selective and sure. One, within yourself, and two, stand on that. Because even in marriage, like men are always gonna advocate for what they need, when they need it, how they need it, how much of what they need. And I feel like as a wife, it's like the woman is always like, okay, cool, but it's like we will sacrifice a lot of things for the sake of my husband, for the sake of my kids, for the sake of my household.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

And I'm in an area of my life where I'm like, yeah, no, I don't want to keep sacrificing my needs over y'all's needs. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I want to be at the top of my priority list. That is not an easy thing to do, but I'm grateful to be in the space to be able to do that. Yes. Um, and to have the partner that's like, okay, I understand what you're saying. Right. Um, and even with my kids, my kids were definitely used to me doing a lot of other things. Now I'm sharing the responsibilities of things so that I can prioritize the things that are important for me. Because at the end of the day, if I'm not right, then none of this ish works. They're not right. I can't do what I need to do for them, my household, I can't be supportive of my husband or my kids. Yeah. If I'm not right. So I think, you know, ladies, definitely stand on business. Yeah. Don't let these men play in your face. No. If you know your worth, don't shift it to fit whatever he's telling you that he needs. This is where my worth is. Right. Unless you increase in that joint, but do not decrease. And even for wives, like, I'm definitely like, because I've been on this journey for a while, but I definitely tell my other friends who are married, I'm like, no, stand on business. Yeah. You said you want an X, Y, and Z. Yeah. Tell that man you want X, Y, and Z. Right. And don't back down. You need you need me to call you and you know, gas you up, I'll be your biggest chillier. So stand on business. Yeah. Period. And it's like you really, you really do have to stand on like what you want. And you know, when people have asked me the question, like, what happened? Like, even whether it's dating and men are like, okay, you were married, what happened? I say, I grew up. Like it was very, it was just simple. Like, I was sort of a certain way. And so the woman that he met, the very young woman that he met, was not the young woman that he got divorced from, and is certainly not the woman I am today.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

No ma'am.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

And so you're always evolving. Like that's just the human nature of life. Absolutely. As long as you're breathing and alive, you know, thank you, Jesus, you're gonna be, you know what I mean, evolving and becoming something different. And so, especially as a woman, because like you said, men are sort of trained up to get what they want. Yeah, absolutely. Um, and we're trained up to be like, okay, yeah, like very, and there's nothing wrong with being submissive. That's not what I'm saying. But you have a voice, you have power, you have worth, right? And you deserve. Yeah. Period. And it's like, I'm gonna get it regardless. Um for me, I'm the kind of woman, I'm gonna get it either way. I'm so sorry. Like, I'm gonna get it with or without you. And I want I want you to know I want you on this train, but I'm getting to point B with or without you. That's me also in the marriage because my husband will be like, yeah, nah, I'm not with that. And I'll be like, cool. And then I'll book that trip. I'll I'll figure it out. I'm gonna figure it out. You know what I'm saying? I will figure things out. Um, and sometimes I can be difficult. Um, and I think that's just the the individual in me, the the independent. Um, but I'm very much so still in that energy of like my man, my man.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Yeah, like I don't want to take the trash out. I don't want to know I don't want to know that. I don't want to pump gas. If something something comes on in my car, a light bang. Yeah, so this thing came on in my car. Like, yeah, my man, my man, me. That you know, that really brings up, and I'm sure you know, you have listeners that are also single, you have listeners that are married, but like for me, that also that's where community comes in, which I would love to talk about. Yeah, because I think like I I'm the same way, like very much princess behavior. I'm spoiled, I'm always an only child. So I also kind of have that coming into a lot of situations where like I'm not touching that, I'm not doing that. I want you to do it. If a light comes on in my car, it could be something as simple as I need windshield wiper fluid. I have guy friends, I have a lot of guy friends that have been in my life, some for 15 years, some for two years, some for six months. They all have a role. Everybody has to play a part. Period. You're not going to be in and around my life, sucking up my energy and my advice, which they love. Absolutely. Okay, and then y'all not gonna be playing your part and doing all things. So if you are dating and you're single or whatever's going on, you make sure that whatever man you're encountering, because they like to they like to do things for us. They do. Like you just gotta put them to work, you just have to ask. Absolutely. And I want to raise my sons to do the same thing. Like when I go out with um my children, especially like my oldest son and my daughter. Um, I be telling my daughter, I'm like, if you're out with a man, why why are you opening the door? Why would you do that? I said, No, you stand there and you wait for him to open the door. And I tell my son, I'm like, when you're out with a woman, you're supposed to walk on the outside. Yeah, you're supposed to get the door. Like it's your job to protect her and to make her feel comfortable. And I told my daughter, if you're out with a man, let him let him pay, let him open the door, let him do the things. Yeah, you know what I mean? And so, I mean, I'm not big on, you know, my husband opening the door. I think we've just been together for so long. Um, but I mean, not to say that he doesn't open the door, but it's yeah, it's not a thing for me.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:25

My thing is like if I'm having a bad day or I need advice or things like that to me are more important than him opening the door. That makes sense. But if we're out, he'll open a door. He may not open the car door and we laugh about that. I'm like, I'm waiting for you to open the car door. He'd be like, girl, you don't get the joke tail out this time. But like if we go into a restaurant, he'll open a door. But I do want to touch on what you said about community. Yeah, sure. Because I feel like sometimes it seems as if it's a lost art. Um, but it's not. Yeah, it is a I'll say it's alive and well in a lot of different corners of the earth for me, because community became such an important part, especially like coming off of being a divorced and single woman. Absolutely. You have to sort of learn to live in a different way. The same way that we just talked about the way that being married and having a husband creates safety for a woman and creates space for her to sort of do certain things or not know certain things, is the same way community is. Um, you know, everybody has a different role. You know, in community, I'm a connector. I'm a person who, you know, I like to make sure that people are finding their paths, that the right people are knowing each other, so the right things that we need as a people, whether black, white, it doesn't matter that we have the things that we need so that we can still sort of be a better world. So I like to be like I'm I'm a world builder, uh I'm a visionary, a creative. I like to see new things come to life. Um, you know, I'm a writer, but I'm also, you know, so many other things. And I think knowing community has really bolstered and taken my life to a level that I'm not sure it ever could have been if I don't entrust sometimes almost complete strangers with my destiny. I think like it's okay to like let go of those things and I don't have all the answers. And I nobody nobody does. And I I think I sort of early on in that journey of like building community, understanding that it might not always be me. Like, for instance, if you are an entrepreneur and you have a business and people call on you for a certain thing, it might not always be you to fill that role, it might be somebody else, and it's important that you know those people so you can create recommendations and say, hey, you might want to go talk to this other person. You know what I mean? I don't have a podcast, but she does. So you might want to go talk to her. I don't do hair, but she does, so you might want to go talk to her because I don't know how to corn roll. I'm gonna steer you wrong every time when it comes to hair. So I'm saying, but I have so I got a line of girls, okay, that will get you right. And so you need to understand that like outsourcing is is a thing that is built for community. Like we need we need each other, like especially in years like 2025, 2026, and beyond. Absolutely. We need each other, like especially if you're a mother and you're a wife. And I'm real bad. Real bad. And I think that's where it's the the the scarcest um is in marriages and in women who are in relationships where we begin to think that because we have a person that we don't need anybody else, or you have women who are in relationships where a person may have convinced them that they don't need other people. And like if you want to get deep about it, isolation is a tool of abuse. Like when you have women who are in situations and relationships where they're isolated from their families, or they're isolated from that best friend, or isolated from a friend group. Um, a person is so much more powerful over you when you don't have wise counsel around you. We don't have people around you who are able to tell you that doesn't sound right, that doesn't look right. I don't like the way he treats you. Yeah. And we're skipping and missing recipes in data. And in love when we do things like when we date and we don't introduce that person to anybody. Um, when you think about you know movies and stories you heard from back in the day where it's like, oh yeah, he had to meet the father and the father had a shotgun. Okay, like that, even though it's like it's it's definitely built-in patriarchy, and there's so much to be said about stories where men are scaring other men and things like that. But when you have men accountable to other people, period. It doesn't matter if it's your father, when you have people accountable to other people, it creates safety. That's what it does. So it's like you're not, it wasn't for no reason, it's for the fact that it's for your safety that that other people know who this person is and are able to say something about them. Um, you don't want to have any person dating or otherwise that somebody can't tell you about, you know what I'm saying? I would love for somebody to say one of my girlfriends or somebody I trust and love to say, I don't like the way he ate his French fries. It made me uncomfortable. I hate his French fries. Yeah. But even on a deeper level, maybe I don't like the way he didn't open the door for you, or I don't like the way that he treats the girls or whatever. So absolutely, yeah. Community is a beautiful thing, and that's a beautiful thing. You know, sometimes even if you don't have it, you have to create it. Yeah, you do. Yeah, and it takes work to create it, it takes a lot of trial and error to create it and sustain it. Because once you find your people, I just went to breakfast with a friend this morning, one of my best guy friends. We've been friends for probably almost five years now. We met in a completely different city, even though we live, we both live here. But it takes work to do these things. Like when I I had there are times where maybe I'm posting on Instagram and I'm like always out at a thing, or you know, whatever, but it like takes work and coordination to make sure I actually get up and out of bed, especially in the winter months when it's colder and your ambitions and your drives are a little lower, and you want to like hibernate because we animals at the base of the call. This is not when the new year really starts. Okay. So y'all have goals and things, baby. Rest. Just rest right now. Rest. My springtime, your your energy will be back up. Everything will make sense. But right now, this is a this is a rest. This is a rest preparation. That's it.

SPEAKER_02 24:18

Prepare and rest.

SPEAKER_00 24:21

Okay. Right. This is not the new year has not started. Exactly. Okay. But that's a whole nother conversation for a whole night. And it's like, you know, when you build, when you build that community, it's it's easy. It becomes easy to get up. I want to go see my people. Yes, I need to see my people. Like it's certain people where I'm like, I gotta see this person today. Yesterday I was having one of those days. Okay. I went, I was like, I know where my homie works at, pulled up at the job unannounced. I know that sounds, I know it sounds crazy. It doesn't sound crazy. But like for most people, it could be like depending on where they were attacks or whatever, but I'm pulling up. And you can pull up on me. Just know, like, I'm that kind of person. I would rather you do that than go crazy. Absolutely. I would rather you do that than cry into the night. I would rather you do that. I would rather us have each other than we're trying to do mic from each other. Absolutely. And I feel like like what you said about being the person to like get the community. I feel like that's kind of me too. Like, I'm I feel like I'm sometimes like the bridge. Like I like getting people together. I love people to like connect on whatever it is that you connect on. Um, and I think it's a beautiful thing. I think you know, it's important to have community, whatever that looks like for you and whatever you need. And for me, it's the community of like womanhood and sisterhood. I feel like sometimes that's kind of lost. Yeah. Um, but also I feel like it's a lot of people out here pretending to be like a girl's girl or woman's woman, but they really like mean girl. That's a real thing, and that's something I've had to work on and like healing myself, not the mean girl thing, but just wanting to build community with women because it can be exhausting. It can be exhausting. I would say we're a lot of work. I'm a lot of work, so I expect that my sisters would be, but it can be, you know, there are just certain entities and certain things that have sort of formed in the sisterhood, uh, what do I want to call it? The sisterhood industrial complex.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

What?

SPEAKER_00 26:31

Okay, that was deep. That's deep. Um where it's like the brunches, the the baddie brunches and the uh you know, buying $65 tickets to be in a room with people who you only see on Instagram and like you've gotta like wear a certain thing. Like that's not okay. Now I get why you're not gonna be able to do now you now you see why I'm calling it the sisterhood and industrial complex. Because it's like that's not community, that's something else. Like when you're selling to people and you're saying, Hey, I want you to buy into this thing, that's a different thing. That's business, that's entrepreneurship, that's another thing. And maybe that's what it is. Maybe they're like trying to portray it as one thing, but it's something else, right? Yeah, and when I think about womanhood and sisterhood, sometimes it's not always being in communication with people. No, sometimes it's just showing up and being there for people and people holding a safe space for you to be your full authentic self. That's it. I think sometimes the issue that I run into is like it starts off like that, like it's very genuine, and then sometimes it just shifts and it becomes very weird. Yeah. And for me, it's like I'm never the person that you have to be weird with. Okay. You know, and so because I'm it's friendship and womanhood and sisterhood is a really big thing for me. Okay. It's not just like, yeah, oh, what it looks like.

SPEAKER_01 27:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:50

Like, yeah, I want to go to brunch, but like that's not the that's not the depth of my relationships with my friends. Exactly. You know, it's my friends being there through all of the things, all of the transitions in my life. They have been there. I have been there for them. You know, yeah, we may not spend every birthday together, but you show up for the things that count. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? But it's it is about being in communication too, because it's like you want women around that you guys can pour into each other. That's right, and hold each other accountable and be there for each other. So, you know, community for me is womanhood and sisterhood because I feel like when women get together and conversations are had, yeah, things be shifting.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

That's real.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

The atmosphere shifts, things happen, things are reborn. Nothing but good things can come out of that when women are in community. Yeah. And men too. It's like I'm not leaving them out, but it's just important for women to have community and for men to have their community where men are holding other men accountable and checking them on things. Um, but also collectively, it's important for women and men to have a sisterhood and a brotherhood and to have those um platonic, you know, friendships and connections where you just checking in. That's it. You know what I'm saying? And like, you know, I can really appreciate, and I, you know, I want it, and I think it has become more of my journey to be in those, those sister relationships and to have womanhood be a part of like the community building part. But for me, it's always been co-ed, it's always been yes, my brothers and my sisters, it's always been absolutely people. So it's like I can't, you know, I I love that. I love when I hear it, and I also sort of come from being a young woman who was sort of a victim of the mean girl thing. Yeah. And so when I sort of grew up, I was like, I don't know if I trust my closest moments, those things you talked about always with just sometimes groups of women. Yeah. Like it's there's a there's a both and there for me. And I think that just it's individual, it's not like a broad statement. You can't blanket statement and say all women, just like you can't say all men, but at the same time, it's just certain things where I'm like, I don't know if I want you that close. It just depends on who it is. Yeah, and sometimes proximity plays a plays a part in that too. Yeah. I think for me, I'm I realize you can't get I can't get all my friends together. You know what I mean? So you can't have all the women at the No. Um, but I, you know, I'm I'm really energy based. So I usually can tell like who's gonna mesh well with who or who's gonna maybe connect. But at the end of the day, I'm the reason that all these people are getting together. Yeah, and sometimes I think for me, that is a lot of responsibility. You know what I mean? Because people look to you like, oh, well, you're the bridge and you're the one to connect people with this one, and you're the one to create this safe space for everyone. But it's like people then forget, like, if I'm doing all of that, who's doing that for me? And that's the part. You know what I mean? And I feel like for me, this audacity season is about me having the audacity to realize like I need to water my own garden.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

Because I'd be over pouring. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? And I'm in a season where it's like, no, I need somebody to pour into me. Yeah. Because I'm pouring into other things. Right. You know what I'm saying? And so sometimes I feel like that can kind of get lost if you're the one always initiating the sisterhood and the womanhood and the connections and connecting people to this one and that one, and you know, just being so available. But it's like sometimes it's hard because that's just who I am at my core.

SPEAKER_01 31:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:32

I can relate to that so much, you know, just as the person who's the connector in a lot of my circles, and whether it's professional or personal, I think that's it goes both ways. Like it does. So it's really hard for me to turn off because I really am just that person. Yeah, I've always been that person, like even as a teenager, even as a kid. I used to be fighting it. I used to be like, nah, man, I don't I don't want to be her. I, you know, I don't know if I ever fought it. I've bucked it. Like, there are some years where I'm bucking a little bit where I'm like, I fought it, but you know, because I think I didn't understand, like how my therapist said it was like, maybe it's not about you trying to change something that you are. Maybe you change who you're doing it for. Okay. You know, realizing like who's worthy of that version of you and who's not. And when she said that, I was like, dang, that's great. You really do have to, like, there is a vetting that has to like take place. Like, who can really get the full sort of benefit of those characteristics and of you instead of like just being like, oh, well, I'm just a giving person, I'm just a kind person, I'm just a connector. Like, okay, maybe not for everybody. And I think that's one thing that I sort of have regret with, and I don't have regret for a lot of things, but it's publicizing that that skill. It's it's making it known that, like, oh, I I can connect people because then everybody, you can be in your lowest moment. Like, I could be having the worst day, and that's the thing. If somebody will hit me for something and they like expect me to show up because showing up is my thing, and that's the thing that I don't want to get lost in because I'm always the person, like you said, connecting people, showing up, creating these spaces. But it's like, I don't think people understand the weight of that. Oh, it's because you're always showing up, and I'm not saying that people don't show up for me, that's not what I'm saying. No, but you do sometimes find yourself in connections when you realize like this connection was going because I was pouring, I was keeping it flowing, and then now this person is not getting what they want, and it's like, oh well, this is not working for me. Right. You know what I mean? And so I just don't want to keep finding myself personally in those type of situations. But I also believe as you evolve and you continue to grow, your your your circle and who you allow access to you will change. Oh, yeah. For the better. And like there's also, and I think you brought up a point earlier that I want to sort of go back into a little bit where you talked about um with how be how being married, you know, there's certain points where it goes up and down in terms of like how y'all are evolving at what pace and like who's catching up to who. Um, and I think it's the same thing for community, it's the same thing for somebody who's a connector, where it's like there are points where I am being fully sort of poured into, and there are things that people are doing for me, and I feel so loved and adored. And then there are other points, other points where I feel like not so much, where it's not really meeting the meter for me. And it's kind of like you you're in constant relationship to this thing that you do, the connecting, the being the sort of source point for all of these relationships, for these events, for this practice, for the whatever you name it. And then you're like, okay, but what about me? And I think for me, this is also like a year, and I wouldn't even call it a year, but just I need to build it into my practice. It can't just be a year for me because I'm like, I feel like I'm gonna be this person for the rest of my life, and I want that to last, and I want to be healthy in it, so I cannot pour the way I've been pouring for the last decade, and that's not a sustainable rate. Not at all. It's just not something that we can do. So there has to be a balance. Absolutely, and that that's very important. I'm glad that we talked about that because that's like a thing, and sometimes when I am feeling away, it's like sometimes it's hard for me to explain it to people who don't, who haven't experienced that. Yeah, you know, because everybody's looking to you like, oh, well, you that person. Right. So when I'm talking to you and telling you about it, it's like you only can relate to a certain extent. Right. But like having this conversation with you, I feel so seen because I'm like, my God, like this is a real thing. And I think also just being somebody who's also a super creative, you know, who's multi-fascinated, like it's so many layers to us that we don't even really get to like share fully. No, because it's like we're doing all the other things, right? Connecting and pouring, and it's like, right, no, we have to have some of that for us. Absolutely. So well, that takes us to our next question. How did storytelling or journalism help you process your own life? Yeah, you know, I tell this story so much about like how just reading, I would say first, because I I sort of came into you know, womanhood or young womanhood, reading authors like Nikki Giovanni or like Sister Soldier, or you know, just some of those more like urban novels and like poetry and stuff like that, and and understanding how important expression is, and understanding how important it is that we our voices, black women's voices, are sort of seen on the forefront, the forefront of you know books and media and TV, um, and growing up with shows like Moesha or Taina or like whatever, like there's just all of these things that I can name that I was sort of surrounded by and submerged in, and having a mother who was so adamant about like really seeping me in culture, really making sure I was at museums and libraries that I was asking questions because she would say she didn't know. So she always had that curiosity, like sort of running in me as a background app. So I was always the person who was like, Oh, I need to know more about this. I would go ask the docent at the museum, or I would ask the security guard, or I would ask the person at McDonald's. She would make me order my own food. And it wasn't because she didn't want to do it for me, it was because she wanted to make sure I developed my own voice. Yes. That I could tell my own story. And so whether she meant it that way or not, it's just how it happened. And so I was really, you know, blessed to sort of have all of those ingredients. I was always filling up composition notebooks when I was really young, always writing, always telling my stories, always doing poetry. Um, and I sort of let go of it at a point because I wanted belonging. I thought that who I was and that colorful little girl with all of those stories and all of that culture couldn't exist with what I wanted. And what I wanted was popularity. I was like, I want to be accepted by the girls in high school, and so I let go of my creativity for some time. I didn't play instruments and I didn't write, and I didn't do anything culturally based for a while. Wow. I just wanted to like be. And in that was also the lesson. So, like, you have to like, there's gonna be ebbs and flows in that creativity. Absolutely. And there's gonna be ebbs and flows. So even when you're not doing it, you're doing it. So, you know, I think there are artists and creatives who I'm sure are gonna listen, people who are wanting to do a thing, and even when you're not doing it, even when you're just dreaming of it, you're still doing it. And so that's powerful. Even though I took that break, like in high school going into my early adult years, um, I would say it really primed me and readied me for the pace at which the gift was gonna sort of come to life in my early 20s, going into my 30s. Um, it's been sort of a decade run of storytelling and journalism and how important it would become to me. And I think all of those things come to me because of the things that happened early in life. Um and I sort of come to or came to storytelling and journalism more specifically because I spent a lot of time in community. And when I say in community, I mean working with nonprofits, working with organizations that have missions that that drive, you know, in a city based on what the needs of the city are. Um, organizations that are sort of solving problems, some of the biggest problems, it could be anything from mental health to entrepreneurship to now being in city government, right? And so I think like there are just certain things that I've learned about what people need. Um, you know, there was a point where I was running an open mic where I was a part of like a whole sort of scene and sort of an architecture of like what it looks like to be a creative in the city, and still I'm a part of that fabric, but there's so many different parts of me. Like, like you said, like I'm a multi-hyphenate, I'm sort of multi-disciplined, and so there's like different tools you need in different times. And I feel like a Swiss Army knife in a way, where I could write an article because I think it is important that our voices are heard, our stories are heard. There are people who are working in the corners of the city, people never go to that you're not gonna see on national TV. And so you need local journalism, you need local storytellers, you need those grios, those poets who are gonna be able to speak to the experience of especially black people, black women, our stories, and every nuance in between. It could be, it could be anything. It could be the woman who likes to read, it could be the woman who likes to go to church, it could be the man who works a job all day and doesn't feel understood. Those stories, all of those stories matter. And there can't be like a picking and choosing. And I think that's what we're seeing a lot in mainstream media is the picking and choosing of what stories matter versus what don't. Right. Um, and we're also seeing a lot of pseudo-news, which is like just made-up stuff, things that we don't really need to know, but that they're sort of perpetuating because they want us to be angry, they want us to be, they want to sort of provoke emotion. And that's a lot of times what we have to be careful of. Yeah, I'm glad you said that because the news is not really the news. No, it's not. Yeah, and what they choose to share, right, is to keep you in that loop of the of a certain type of emotion, yes, so that you don't focus on what the hell is really happening. Exactly. I don't care for the news. Neither do I. Yeah, I like to stay in my own energy. We have to, and I think you know, we're not going to be able to rescue everybody in that. Everybody still probably has a grandmother or a great aunt or somebody who stays glued to the tube and doesn't want to necessarily let go of the narrative that they're sort of being sold. Because what we also have to realize is a lot of the legacy media that we know, whether it's print journalism or it's TV, whether you're watching the news or whatever, all that stuff is all sort of bought up and sold to these billionaires who are sort of controlling a narrative right now. So it's not what it used to be. We're not looking at what we used to. Um not at all. And there's even a prominent poet and storyteller, someone who spent a lot of his years in Baltimore, Gil Scott Heron, who says the revolution will not be televised. They never, it's never gonna be on the that's a bar for forever. Yes, forever and ever. So shout out to him, period. Cause maybe, yeah, maybe planning our faces. It's a distraction, and this is like right, which brings me to like media literacy and like understanding what you're looking at and not looking at. And the best way you can do that is to be well read, like to really like, and when you ask, where do you want to go, like record this thing? And I said the library, it was on purpose because I love the library. I love it so bad. Like, I love books, I've always loved it. Do I every year have the time to read the amount of books that I want? No, we're all of those, we got busy lives, but pick up something, yes, because when you read writers are the keepers of the time. When you read books from the 1930s or the 1950s or the 1960s, if you just go back a little bit and you read black authors and their work, you're gonna get little bits and tastes of what life was for them then, and you're gonna understand how not to repeat histories now, and you're gonna better understand who you are and what you come from. The more you read and not just self-help, like not just self-help as a genre, it has to also be the imaginative, you know, fictions and the things that Octavia Butler's, the Maya Angelou's novels, like read novels, like really get into it because when you better understand what it is we come from, we can better understand where we're going. And that also there are principles. if you I could talk all day about it but like saying Kofa from the Twi language in Ghana is it means to go back and get it. Yeah reaching back to move forward. Reaching back to move forward. Like you gotta have you gotta figure out where you came from in order to get where you're going. So pick up a book. Yes. Pick up a book. Last year I was getting I got back into like just the joy of reading and just wanting to like explore and just expand my brain. I'm also a poet I don't tell people that um but those close to me know you know I get the urge to write poems right every so often. But it my I don't like to force my creativity. So if it's not something that I feel then I'm not gonna write it. Yeah. But it was about maybe a week or so ago I just woke up with like this really heavy energy. And it was it was just really heavy it was really dark. It was really sad but it was in relation to like what's happening in the world. And not that I'm oblivious to what's happening in the world because I don't watch the news but sometimes I would rather just read it versus hear it.

SPEAKER_01 45:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:13

It's just different for me. But I had, you know, just scrolling on the the Instagram and you know just seeing so many things happening to so many people and children it just it sparked me to write a poem. I wasn't sure like where I was going and normally I don't really know what the topic of the poem is until I'm maybe halfway through or done. But I ended up writing a poem and the poem was I end up titling the poem There's a war outside and I'm like it literally is a war happening outside. Yeah you know what I'm saying and and not to exclude other people but it's just like this is not the first war on black and brown people. No. You know what I mean although we are very familiar with it it still doesn't negate the fact that it's still heavy right to see to watch to hear you know what I mean and I would just be inhumane if I don't somehow feel something about what's happening. Yeah even if it's not happening directly to me or directly to those connected to me. But yeah that's that's usually how I end up being inspired. You know it's usually just a feeling but yeah um yeah it's just yeah it's crazy. And it's important I think even any and all storytelling like when you're when you wake up with a heavy feeling and you end up writing a poem or you're writing for a news outlet or you know you name it it I think all of it matters because we need to come back to those things. You might see it in two years. You might oh yeah I wrote that thing and I forgot about it or somebody else might maybe your child might see it in 50 years. You see what I'm saying and they can sort of use it as a measure of the time they can understand what was happening what you were feeling in it and that's important. Like we again like the writers are the keepers of the time like you really you can look back at any sort of era whether it's Jim Crow South slavery and beyond and you can sort of see that this is not the first time we're at these intersections and that you're not alone yeah I think like that that's the other thing that's the key is like you're you're in community with people based on the fact that they went through these things and when you when you've had that feeling of feeling like you're held by those kinds of ancestors or even the people who are here there's something really powerful to that absolutely absolutely oh I love this this is good and wholesome and deep and all the things all the things that we need it to be. What does alignment look like for you now in love and work and in friendships that's a great question. For me alignment is something that has really taken time to get to because there are things that you know I think coming fresh off of that divorce which I sort of credit as like a a spawning point for me in terms of not spawning I spawned from that um and I got on up out of there baby and then look back I mean but hey hey listen sometimes you gotta collect your things sometimes and you gotta go on about your sometimes but also like when you have it it felt like a it felt like a nudge it felt like there was a a deep whisper in my spirit that I needed to sort of become something else and you can only do but so much like Harriet Tubman did with with all the slaves to tell people that it's time to get up on out of something and some people didn't make it with her because they wasn't trying to listen so just take the spirit of Tubman in okay because it's like baby these are your options listen you come on here right or you can stay here and continue to build that. Exactly but baby we finna roll out we about to go at dawn we riding at dawn I got my shotgun baby and she got them people up out of there out of there okay so meanwhile you still back but never mind yeah we get to alignment alignment for me is is listening to to to piggyback on that whole notion and that joke we just told but like it is that listening to my spirit listening to God being obedient to the spirit and being obedient to what I'm feeling like I think so many times like in my own life I can speak for like where I felt a thing I felt something pulling on me something was nudging me in a certain direction and I was ignoring it or I felt like I wasn't capable. And there's so many spirit you know so many stories whether biblical or otherwise where you know something is giving us something a new responsibility a gift a way of life and we're rejecting it because we feel like we're not equipped and so for me it's moving in a direction even when I don't have all the tools I think I need and knowing that sometimes while I'm in the midst of that I learn that I always had everything I needed that I didn't need all of these extra things I didn't need all of these extra people I didn't need for whoever I left to come with me. You know what I'm saying? Like I just had it and it and so part of alignment is is that listening and that obedience and that movement. Like all three of those things have to happen in order for me to get somewhere. So um and in that movement also finding the right pace because I think there are times and I was just talking to one of my good friends about this over breakfast but there are times where we want to move at a speed that is not human. You know we we want the wins quick because we want to be able to tell people that we have succeeded and it's hard because when you make a move that's risky especially a move that's risky whether it's leaving a marriage or starting a business or starting a new project or launching an event or working with kids or working with adults it doesn't matter what you're doing. It can all be risky and when you're taking a risk you want to be able to prove to people that you did it that and sometimes you're not gonna be able to do that for five years. And I think that's what we kind of mess up at is like when God gives you a thing that's it he gave you the thing he gave you the thing you don't need nobody else to be in agreement with what God gave you and what he told you to do. Right. I think we end up mess missing out or being misaligned because we're we're excited about the thing but it's like now we're seeking validation for things outside of what God said. And we're focused on the outcome like we live in a very outcomes driven sort of society especially with social media we want to be able to post the accolade we want to be able to post the finished product but there are so many times where and even for like clients I've had where I do storytelling for them or you know even working in city government so much of what I'm able to sort of show is is that showing the work like your math teacher used to say is the process like I can't really always show you how I can't show you the result because I don't have it yet I can't solve for X. Maybe X is making sure there's no more vacant houses in Baltimore City. I can't show you X yet I can show you how these people are trying to get there. Maybe it's whatever you you can fill in the blank but it's just kind of like showing the process sometimes is more important. Being in the process is more important. So for me the alignment is staying present and staying in the process. It's like not necessarily maybe that present that present because I'm gonna I I am very like I get excited yeah and I don't think there's anything wrong with being excited what I'm realizing is that you'll be excited about the thing because you know you've had that conversation with God you've been in connection with God you've been praying you've been doing your work and now I'm sharing that with someone else who's like okay because they they're not they haven't been a part of that process or that experience and it's like I'm realizing like some people will just never get it and maybe it's not meant for people to get it but I got it. Yeah and God gave it to me. That's it so that's it right nobody ever is nobody's ever going to be as excited about your journey as you are as you're supposed to be and I I was just talking to a friend yesterday just constantly be and that's the other thing is constantly being in community community with people who are also similarly on their own paths like being around people who want something for themselves and who are taking those risks because when you do that you see yourself because if you're gonna be around people and you're gonna tell them I'm starting a new business or I'm doing this or I'm doing that I just started a podcast and they're not gonna be as excited for you as you are and they're not gonna be as excited for you as somebody who's doing their own thing too. So being around those kinds of people helps me so much. It does it so much definitely helps. I definitely can relate I've been on the opposite side of like people saying that they're excited for you but like you you can hear or feel when someone is in the same energy as you and being excited and it's like it's not you it's not you they're mad at it's themselves. People don't people who haven't taken risks before or who have taken risks and failed and have let that stop them are always going to when they hear something like that they struggle to get excited because they know how hard it hurt them they also struggle to sort of see the vision because they haven't tried to envision anything for themselves. So it's hard for somebody who is in that monotonous sort of I'm just gonna wake up go to work go to sleep you know maybe I go to church on Sunday maybe I have a friend I have tea with every Tuesday it's it's hard for somebody who's in a monotonous rhythm to see the beauty and being sporadic the beauty the beauty and being free and and you deciding oh what you want your baby when I tell you people be upset it upsets people so bad. It upsets people and I'm just like yeah but why especially when you begin to thrive it it upsets people oh my god this is my life literally I don't even trust people like that anymore because I'm just like are you on that are you on that job for me what I'm realizing as I'm on this journey of alignment yeah it's like what I'm realizing is that I just have to continue to trust God. Yeah because it's like we'll pray for things but then we won't believe that those things can happen and then God is like uh uh uh like you pray for this you you have been in alignment you have been obedient you have surrendered yeah and now you're seeing the fruits of your labor but sometimes that also means that you will fall out of alignment with certain people and I think for me it's like learning like it doesn't always have to be like a dramatic falling out with people sometimes you just fall out of alignment yeah and you just keep going. That's it like you don't it's not a reach back and move forward or when when things fall off you just let them fall off. Yeah that's a part of the process but when you were talking it made me think about how I feel like alignment cannot thrive in fear. Yeah like you have to really release your fear in order for you to thrive in your alignment. And like you know I think it's for me it's a both end like two things can be true at once like you can be afraid and things are still gonna work out for you. That too things are still gonna work out for you like you could be shivering in your boots and God is still going to make a way it's still there's still gonna like he's always gonna perfect the things that are concerning you absolutely it's not gonna even if you are afraid it feels like it's gonna stop things but it's probably not and you could try your best in your human state to try to remove those things and sure you should probably the more you build in your faith be less and less afraid because then you learn like I'm always good I was always good so I shouldn't be fearful. You know what I mean he didn't really create us in that spirit so we should probably move away from that yeah but it doesn't mean it's gonna stop you you know but some people do let fear stop oh yeah and that's why I said that I feel like oh yeah because I've done things afraid oh yeah but I feel like fear is like it it makes you a little stagnant yeah like you're you're very hesitant afraid you're like I might dip my toe in it right okay that that wasn't too bad okay and you will inch further afraid versus you being fearful very true you'll just be like you can't move yeah and and to me that's just like some people are complacent some people are complacent and so complacent and like I don't even know if they're afraid of the growth I don't even know if they know what it is. I don't even know if they know what they're afraid of and I know that because I've been in that position where I'm like what am I what am I really hesitating on here? Why do I feel like I can't get it why do I feel like it's not gonna happen for me and once I sort of dissect that and I realize like there's really nothing to be afraid of the real fear is me staying here like hello the real fear I was in with you and I think that's probably another another sort of callback to why I probably haven't gotten in another relationship because I'm like I'm scared to keep still with somebody like what is that going to do for me but there are parts of me that that does crave that that thinks about that too. This season is about audacity but today we are talking about alignment because it takes audacity to choose your next level and alignment to maintain it. So we're doing both segments today we are gonna do the grounded in gratitude and fabulously trendy now this is an exclusive because normally you know it's one or the other but why not where Alana had the audacity to do both segments. So Alana what is one experience from this season of your life that you are genuinely grateful for even if it doesn't feel good at that time yeah um you know I think what immediately comes to mind is I think sometimes we want to choose what a person will mean to us or we want to choose how that relationship will go. And so many years ago I met someone who I was like interested in romantically and I thought that I wanted this person in a certain way. Like I was like okay like I can see myself with this particular person. Like I think I want our relationship to not be platonic. And like we would explore that at certain levels but like it never really went there and I couldn't really explain at that time why it didn't. And you know I would I call this even though it's over the span of some so many years I think it is kind of one season for me. So when you think when I'm thinking about that question I'm like oh there was a point where I wasn't certain why it didn't go that way but then I got into a season of loss in my life and so I lost my mother in 2025 and like when I thank you and like when I lost my mom uh that person became someone who was able to step up for me in a way in a friend way in a platonic way um and just really be there for me really like pick up the phone when I need it really was able to come over the house and like sit with me come to her services and everything in between the nights where I can't go to sleep the and I thought that you know if we would have taken it there at that time who's to say we wouldn't have like exploded the relationship and then I wouldn't have had that person.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:24

Right. And so like I think about those things where I'm like I'm so I'm so sure that this person is like supposed to be this to me but that wasn't supposed to be how it was and I'm so grateful that we didn't take it there because sometimes when you do push a relationship whether it's into a romantic you know sort of uh a romantic what am I trying to say a romantic situation or you try to define it romantically um or maybe you take it into doing business with somebody or whatever. Sometimes when we push a relationship into a certain characteristic we take it out of what it's supposed to be. And I think um I'm so glad for that season of rejection of feeling like oh this person doesn't want me in that way or whatever so that I could have a good friend in a moment where I really needed them. And maybe it wasn't a season of rejection maybe it was a season of alignment. Sure sure because you weren't necessarily rejected you didn't get what you thought you were supposed to be getting exactly but you end up getting what you needed what I needed ooh baby that's good yeah okay definitely love that so that was the ground of ingratitude segment I didn't say that in the beginning so my apologies um but this is the fabulously trendy segment so Alana how are you currently showing up boldly and confidently in this season of your life yeah you know I think if you would have asked me this five and maybe even two years ago where I would have said something about you know getting up every day and like treason my purpose and like getting up and being able to do these things but now it's um I think the way that I'm showing up especially for me is opting out is saying no and um it's just staying home more being more inclined to just be with my family or be with myself and not necessarily always be for everybody. Are we in the same season? We might be because that's where I'm at I don't know and I feel like seasons don't have to be like every year or every month. I feel like they could be reoccurring and then it's not necessarily dependent on a certain time frame. But I love that season that you're in like it ain't nothing like being in your home mind of your own business. I just and I you know I'm so grateful and God if I haven't said it to you out loud like I'm just so grateful for the sustaining you know what I mean like I think about so many years ago like just being insecure financially being insecure emotionally being it's just just not feeling like I was on solid ground and I feel like now I'm in that season of like I could just sit in my house and be still I don't have to feel like there's something that I have to go and toil for I can just sit and read. You know what I'm saying I can just sit and be I could just talk on the phone with my friends I could laugh I don't have to think about anything and just provide it for like that's a what a beautiful thing what a beautiful season. And like I'm just I'm grateful for that I'm grateful for the stillness I'm grateful for just being able to like be myself and like when I do want to pop out I can still be myself yeah because I've been able to find my people and my things and like I know where they are and they're not gonna go anywhere. And I don't have to be afraid and I could almost cry thinking about it to lose it. Yes you know like we're literally living in answer prayer come on like literally like I can't think of a time in my life where God hasn't provided literally I don't even know if I've said this out loud yet. So when I'm saying it I'm like it makes me emotional because I'm like oh like this is really an answered prayer literally oh and the fact that you can't even really like pinpoint when you pray for a time like this I you know but I know I but you're living in it now now like maybe this is our season of gratitude. This has to be it has to be like literally the best I think I post I saw something recently and I shared it and I said luxury to me is waking up choosing what I want to do with my day. Yeah that and and the crazy thing is I can remember having a prayer where I was just like I want to be able to wake up and choose what I want to do with my day. Yeah I'm literally waking up now choosing what I want to do with my day. Yeah. What a I wake up just like so grateful. And I think we need to come to God more of just being grateful for basic things. Yes. Instead of coming to act for things. Yes. Because we'll be acting for seven. We'll be ready. Yeah. I saw a clip. Well, speaking of thinking, thinking of like clips and things we've seen. Like, yeah, I saw a clip where a young lady, like, she gets in the house, she closes the door behind her, and then like it says something across the screen about like how many times we don't really just say thank you for like getting us home safely. Like just for just literally being able to return home when we think about you want to go back to the news cycle or you want to go back to all the things that could happen to a black woman in a day, like to be and a black man or black children, because this is a cause we love anybody at this point. To just be able to shut the door behind you and be home is a blessing in and of itself. Like that's a beautiful thing. That's part of my prayers, though. To have a cabinet full of food, options for a meal, bed is sometimes we don't want to cook. Like, you could do pasta or rice, you could do sauce or gravy. Because there's people out here don't got nothing, don't have it. They don't have it. And I even think about like the homeless people, like it's freezing cold. It's free. I thought about that the other night. I was like, I'm cold in my bedroom, in my home, in my home. I can't have any temperature. Girl, my god, my god. So I'm grateful for this season of of stillness and like of just being sure, like, because there were so many seasons where I felt like I had to just be on the go. Where I felt like I just had to keep moving and I just had to keep keep going so I could have something for us. You know what I'm saying? Have something for me. And that is what I've been saying. The season is for me is that leaving something for me, a lot for you, leaving a lot for me. Because we be pouring and giving and leaving a lot for other people, yeah. And we forget, like, no, that needs to be replenished. It does. Or maybe just start with us, yeah, yeah. And then if I have something left, or if I choose to pour, if yeah, big on the if. Because listen, I've been doing this thing, and maybe maybe you've done it too. I don't I haven't been answering the phone. Like, have you ever just let your phone ring? I've been doing that not as often as I would like, but there are moments where I'm like, I'm literally doing nothing, and my phone rings, and I'm just like, not today. Not today. I'm not doing anything, but also not right now. Like, I just or maybe like just not choosing to reach out to people who you know are in a season um that's hard for them. Because, like I was saying to one of my friends, I'm like, you know, sometimes I want to call people, but I know there, you know, it's a lot of people in a season right now where they're struggling and things are really difficult. And then on top of that, the world is really dark and heavy. Yes. And it's like, but if you're not in that season or that space, you shouldn't feel guilty about what God is doing for you in your life in this season, you know. So yeah, sometimes don't answer the phone. Let it ring. Let it ring. And sometimes don't make the call. Sometimes turn on your favorite song, just do something else. Sit aside. Don't look at that book, do something else. Because just don't, yeah. And it's something to be said about, you know, just this time in history of how accessible we all are. And I think, you know, there was a piece to something, there was something, there was a palpable piece and something you could really feel from like some of our grandmothers and people like that. I remember my grandmother used to say, let it ring. Like, if they if it's important, they'll call back. Or they'll leave a message. Or they'll leave a message when then when you could do that. You see what I'm saying? But like, hey, it it used to be a phone on the wall. You couldn't leave the phone. You couldn't vote, you couldn't vote too far. You had to circle around, okay? And if she didn't have the core one along, you better ring me twice. All I'm saying is our children generation will never know what it's like to actually slam that phone down and hang up on somebody. You hear me? They will never know. They'll never know. They'll never know. Oh my god, thank you so much. This conversation was so wholesome. Yeah, it was very much drenched in the audacity, honey. Yes, and also just a reminder of like we're all kind of sort of experiencing the same thing. It may not be at the same exact time in the same way, but there are a lot of similarities of what people are experiencing out here in the world. There, there are, and I think we we are we live in a world where we like to find so much individuality where we like to say that I'm set apart, but like so much of like you said, what we're all going through is what we are all going through. So we just have to like we need each other, like I said earlier. Yeah, and we it's okay to relate, it's okay to be a part of a group, it's okay to be in the collective, and it's okay not to be sometimes, yeah. Like find a find a balance that works for you. Yes, it's okay to connect, but it's also okay to disconnect. Yes, when you need to disconnect. That's right. But Alana, thank you, thank you so much for this amazing conversation. Um, let the Fab family know where we can follow you and support you and keep up with you. Yeah, for sure. Um, I mean, I might not answer, but you could always reach me. Because she might need some time. So bear with her. Give her some grace, give you some grace. But um, I'm at everything. Alana has entered the chat where you can find my byline if you're looking for articles and stories at Alana Nicole Davis as my full name. A-L-A-N-A-A. Period. Because she is the brand, honey. Okay, I am the brand. I am the brand. Yes. So Fair Family, Audacity is not loud rebellion. Sometimes it's quiet courage. The courage to walk away, the courage to rediscover yourself, the courage to trust that alignment is not punishment, it is preparation. Now, I said that in this podcast earlier. Okay, just stay with me, yeah. We did. Grace and alignment means believing that even the painful seasons are shaping you into who you are meant to become. That's a word. So thank you for tuning in to the Fat Podcast. And make sure y'all stay bold, stay faithful, and keep becoming. We out.